Home > Weekends of Recovery > 2009 Weekends of Recovery: Sequoia
MaleSurvivor Level I Weekend of Recovery
"Dare to Dream"
Join us for a beautiful spring weekend at
Sequoia Retreat Center, Ben Lomond, CA
March 27-29, 2009
MaleSurvivor Weekends of Recovery are open to any man, 18 or older, who been sexually victimized as child and/or as an adult. Sequoia Retreat Center is the location of our first 2009 Level I Weekend of Recovery. Nestled amid 200 acres of majestic coastal redwoods, madrones and tan oaks, the Sequoia Retreat Center provides us a beautiful setting in which each of you can take the risks necessary to make this weekend a significant one in your recovery. Sequoia, located in the Santa Cruz Mountains, is a privately owned retreat center, and the owners, Scot and Diane Myers-Lipton, want you to feel safe and comfortable and nurtured. Their philosophy is best reflected in this welcome: "Welcome to a place of reflection and dialogue. The Sequoia land has been held sacred since 1949 -- it is a place where love has been experienced, where pain has been transcended, and where hope has been born. The Sequoia Retreat Center is a place where the deepest meaning of life may be explored in an atmosphere of quiet and beauty. Our hope is that your stay here enriches your life, and the life of our earth that is our place in the universe. May you add to the spirit of love that builds and nourishes this sacred place, and return to your daily life renewed. The history of Sequoia is a history of seasons, beauty, spirit, and truth. This can never be communicated by facts or descriptions; it must be experienced first-hand. We look forward to your visit."
You can visit their website at www.sequoiaretreatcenter.com
While at Sequoia, you will take part in California style meals with an emphasis on fresh, organic, and local foods. We'll have single, double, and triple cabins available for lodging. All of the cabins have hardwood floors, have been modernized, and each has its own private bathroom. There will be space for up to 28 men on this weekend.
Goals of the Level I Weekend of Recovery:
| 1) | To provide an opportunity to experience a safe environment in which participants can discover they are no longer alone in their recovery; |
| 2) | To provide an opportunity to co-create and experience safety with other survivors as they explore further aspects of their healing journey; |
| 3) | To provide an opportunity where survivors can share their inner pain, strength and hope with others who have been abused; |
| 4) | To provide an opportunity for survivors to give a voice to their experiences as a survivor; |
| 5) | To provide a safe way for participants to share the story of their abuse with others who will understand and offer support; |
| 6) | To provide a safe place for participants to experiment with letting go, opening up and being vulnerable, and practice asking for the support they need; |
| 7) | To provide an opportunity for participants to explore safe ways of going beyond their comfort zones, and to find ways to get beyond their blocks to move beyond their abuse to experience a greater sense of freedom in their minds, bodies, and spirits; and |
| 8) | To provide a safe place where participants can experience a sense of community, brotherhood and joy. |
Facilitator Team:
Weekends of Recovery are facilitated by trained psychotherapists, utilizing the same clinical boundaries and code of ethics as adopted by the American Psychological Association. The weekends are adjuncts to participants' ongoing recovery work with individual and/or group psychotherapy, twelve step programs, and individual spiritual work, and are not meant to substitute for the participants' local support systems that are consistent with their own recovery. Dr. Howard Fradkin, a Psychologist with over 26 years of experience working with male survivors, chairs the facilitator team. The team of facilitators includes other Psychologists, Social Workers, Marriage and Family Therapists, and Mental Health Counselors. Biographies of all staff members for this weekend can be found on the MaleSurvivor website at www.malesurvivor.org The rest of the team includes: Lee Beckstead, Bill Burmester, Joanna Colrain, Don Laufersweiler, Lynne MacDonell, Mikele Rauch, and Jim Struve. MaleSurvivor reserves the right to make changes to the staff depending on enrollment.
For those working with professionals, we recommend you discuss your planned participation in this weekend to get their feedback and suggestions for how you can benefit as much as possible from the experience while keeping yourself as safe as you need to be. All participants must be able to safely and appropriately engage in structured group activities. After receiving confirmation of your registration, if you are in therapy, please go the website and download the form for your therapist to complete which confirms you and your therapist agree you are prepared for the weekend. If you have an already established support system of friends/family members/significant others, we also encourage you to talk with them about your participation so they can be available both before and after the weekend as needed to help you prepare and process your experiences.
If you are not in therapy, and/or do not yet have a support network, we encourage you to consider setting up an appointment with a therapist either before you come to the retreat, or as soon as possible after your return, and/or encourage you to explore what types of self-help groups and resources are available in your community or near by. This way you can follow up on some of the experiences and skills you learn that will help the weekend's learning stay fresh in your mind and help you apply what skills and awareness would most help your continuing recovery.
One of our staff members will be contacting you by phone within two weeks of when we receive your application to talk with you about your needs for the weekend and your readiness to participate. All participants must be able to safely and appropriately engage in structured group activities. If we have any concerns about you participating, we may suggest some steps you can take to enhance your readiness for this weekend or we may ask you to wait for a future weekend while you take some additional steps we believe would be important for you to benefit from the experience. Please do not schedule your travel arrangements until after your interview is completed and you have been told you have been accepted as a participant. The facilitator team will make every effort to complete that process as quickly as possible. The earlier you register, the more possible that will be (which of course could help you save money on transportation and by getting an early registration discount).
You can read comments from other participants on our web page (see the testimonials section under the tab Weekends of Recovery). Many participants have told us that the weekend is a very intense and rewarding experience, and at the same time sometimes it is quite uncomfortable. We recognize that one of the challenges male survivors have is feeling comfortable enough to ask for help, especially when they are feeling most in need of the help. For participants who are aware they have a problem with dissociation, this can be an especially difficult challenge. We would encourage you to practice asking for help before the weekend, perhaps with your own therapist, as well as with friends and significant others, and to assess for yourself what gets in your way of asking for the help you need so you can let us know when we contact you prior to the retreat. The facilitators are all very skilled therapists, and often times we can be sensitive and intuitive enough to know you need help even when you are not asking. However, we will clearly need your help and ask you to take the risk to articulate your needs during the retreat. To the extent you can help us know you are needing some extra help at any time during the weekend, this will help you to have an even safer and hopefully more beneficial experience.
During the weekend, we'll invite you to participate in a number of different types of activities. We'll spend some time helping each of you to feel as safe as possible. We'll take our time getting to know each other by sharing a little at a time. Frequently during the weekend we will meet in small groups, where you can have more individual time to talk and share your feelings and observations.
Everyone will be given some opportunities to choose how to tell your story - through words, through art, through movement, and/or through music. We'll also introduce you to some different types of relaxation and visualization exercises you may choose to do at home to increase your abilities to cope and manage life stresses. We'll also give you time to wander the beautiful retreat grounds alone or with some of your fellow participants.
Survivors with perpetration history:
Any person who has been adjudicated (found guilty) of sexual perpetration at any time in their life is not eligible for participation in the weekends. Because many survivors have sexually acted out in childhood, adolescence or even young adulthood, we do not wish to automatically exclude them from a Weekend of Recovery. However, to assess each participant on a case-by-case basis, we want to be able to discuss their perpetration history with them and their therapist. This means that in order to assure other participants that we have their safety in mind, we want to be able to screen anyone with such a history to determine if attending a weekend is in their best interest and the best interest of all participants. In such cases, an interview with the Weekends of Recovery Chairperson will be required before you will be accepted. In addition, if you have such a history, we require that you are currently in therapy and we require that in addition to speaking with you, you will also need to give your consent for us to consult with your therapist before approving you for the weekend. We encourage all potential participants to be honest when we call you about any such incidents(ces) in your past because some participants may be unable to deal with people with such histories.
Registration Costs
Registration includes the costs of the facilitated Weekend of Recovery program, with our 8 skilled facilitators from the MaleSurvivor Weekend of Recovery Facilitator Team, plus lodging, 7 meals, and snacks. Bottled water, juices, tea and coffee will be available throughout the weekend. We have a variety of accommodations in the cabins. If you are not a MaleSurvivor member, we encourage you to join the organization and become a dues-paying member prior to registration both to secure a significant discount ($50 off) and to help support the work of MaleSurvivor. (NOTE: This is not the same as registering for website use with a log-in name; this is free) Limited numbers of each type of accommodation are available, and will be distributed on a first come, first served basis. You can also save $50 more by registering early! And if you register and pay in full by December 31st, we'll offer you an early-early discount of an additional $25! So if you register and pay by December 31, you'll get $75 off; plus $50 off if you are a dues paying member of MaleSurvivor.
All prices quoted below are for Early-Early Year End Registration (by December 31)
| Category | Description | Price |
| CATEGORY A | Triple -MaleSurvivor Member | $550 |
| CATEGORY A | Triple -Non-Member | $600 |
| CATEGORY B | Double -MaleSurvivor Member | $650 |
| CATEGORY B | Double - Non-Member | $700 |
| CATEGORY C | Single-Member | $750 |
| CATEGORY C | Single-Non-member | $800 |
Registration between January 1st, 2009 and January 22nd, 2009: Add $25 to costs above
Registration after January 23rd : Add $75 to the costs above
To register for the weekend, we ask that you complete an online registration at www.malesurvivor.org and/or mail in a registration form. To hold your spot for the weekend, we are requesting at least $150 deposit with your registration. You will have the choice on the registration form to either prepay your registration in full at the time of registration or opt for a payment plan. If you want the "early registration discount", then we must receive your complete payment by January 23, 2009. If you want the early holiday year end discount of an additional $25, pay in full by December 31st. Your balance will automatically be charged to your credit card on January 23rd and you will still receive the early registration discount. You may also forgo the early registration discount, and make payments between the time you register and one month prior to the weekend, when all payments are due (February 27th). Choosing the 2 payment option, you will owe an additional $50 for regular registration, and we will bill your credit card for ½ of the balance of the total of the registration due based on your accepted accommodation type on January 27, 2009, and the second half on February 27, 2009. You may also mail in checks to be received on these dates. Holding your registration will be contingent on receipt of your additional registration fees on these dates. Any registration which is not paid in full by February 27, 2009 is subject to cancellation and a $50 cancellation fee. Any cancellation after February 27th will be subject to the loss of all monies paid, unless we can find a replacement for your space in the weekend.
Registration will remain open until March 23rd, provided there is space available.
SCHOLARSHIPS::
Dependent on MaleSurvivor's scholarship fund balance, a very limited number of partial scholarships will be available for this weekend. We encourage those requesting scholarships to apply for partial scholarships and to commit to paying some portion of the registration yourself (or ask others to assist you in your support group). This enables MaleSurvivor to make more scholarships available to more participants. We can only provide assistance with registration costs, and cannot at this time provide any assistance with transportation costs. If you need a scholarship, please do not register for the weekend. Instead, go to our website and apply for a scholarship first. If you have a need for a scholarship, please go to the website, log in, then click on "Join MaleSurvivor"; you'll see a box to check there that says "Apply for event scholarship". Check that box, and you'll be directed to a form to complete. On that form, it is very important that you indicate how much money you are requesting as a scholarship from MaleSurvivor. We ask that scholarship recipients agree to accept assignment to a triple cabin, since MaleSurvivor is charged more for double and single accommodations. To allow us to provide more scholarship aid, by agreeing to accept a triple cabin, you will allow us to spread our limited funds further. The form will ask you how much of a scholarship you want; since triple cabins are $575 for members, and $625 for non-members, please calculate how much you can pay and subtract that from the cost of the cabin (for example, if you can pay $300 and you are a dues paying member of MaleSurvivor, you'd apply for a $275 scholarship –575-300=275). MaleSurvivor will email your completed form to Howard Fradkin, Weekend Chairperson. Once your scholarship request has been granted, Howard will email you back with authorization to register. When you register, you will notice when you get to the payment page, you will receive a credit in the amount of the scholarship you have been granted. It will be your responsibility to pay the balance of your fee by February 27th.
If you are in a position to assist with our scholarship fund, you can contribute through the MaleSurvivor website by donating to the Memorial Fund or on the registration form. Thanks for any help you can provide.
DINING:
The meals at Sequoia are delicious California cuisine. If you have specific food needs or specific food allegies, please indicate this on your registration form and we will do our best to accommodate any special requests. Bottled water, juices, coffee and tea, half and half and soy milk will be supplied all weekend long for you.
OTHER INFORMATION ABOUT HOPE SPRINGS: Sequoia has asked that we take our shoes off before entering all meeting spaces. So we'd suggest you bring shoes that are easy to slip on and off. You're welcome to bring indoor slippers or shoes.
No alcohol or un-prescribed drugs may be brought to the weekend. There is also a no smoking policy in the buildings. We will indicate to you at the time of your arrival where the designated smoking area is and ask that you respect this limit. Most cell phones do work here.
We have several optional hikes during the weekend, including early morning meditation walks and a longer hike on Saturday afternoon. There are plenty of walking trails through the woods, so bring socks, long pants, long sleeve shirts, bug protection and shoes that support you on rough terrain and are waterproof. Please bring your own flashlights as some cabins are located a distance through the woods. We will provide you a packing list after you register. All bedding and towels are provided.
GETTING TO SEQUOIA
MaleSurvivor will coordinate transportation to the center after you have been fully accepted to the weekend pending your completed interview with one of our staff. Mikele Rauch, one of our facilitators, will contact you to find out your transportation needs. During your interview, you'll be asked if you need help in coordinating transportation. We will do our best to provide shared transportation to the center if you need it. We ask that if some other participant agrees to provide transportation to you that you offer to contribute to their fuel costs. The center is located 10 miles north of Santa Cruz, so Santa Cruz airport will be your closest airport. However, some folks may find better airline costs arriving into Oakland or San Francisco. Driving directions are available on the Sequoia website, and will be sent to you on request (we'll send you a transportation form once you register).
WHEN TO ARRIVE AND DEPART-MAKING PLANE RESERVATIONS
Please do not schedule your travel arrangements until after your interview is completed and you have been told you have been accepted as a participant. The facilitator team will make every effort to complete that process as quickly as possible. The earlier you register, the more possible that will be (which of course could help you save money on transportation and by getting an early registration discount).
The weekend begins at 12 noon on Friday, and ends Sunday at 3 pm. Please pay particular attention to the arrival policy below before making your travel plans. Given travel time, we recommend all participants plan to arrive on Friday no later than 10 am depending on the airport ; and plan to depart on Sunday no earlier than 5 pm (later if you are flying out of Oakland or San Francisco). Please see the important arrival policy below. If you cannot accommodate your schedule to arrive and depart at these times, please be considerate and do not register. Late arrivals would miss important orientation information, and we ask that all participants plan to stay until the end of the weekend on Sunday to allow you sufficient time for closure. If you find that the only airline reservations you can find will require an overnight stay on either Thursday or Sunday, we are sorry, but we cannot provide overnight accommodations on Thursday or Sunday evening at Sequoia. If you need information about accommodations near either airport, please indicate this on your transportation form.
Arrival Policy
Safety for all participants is our utmost concern. Therefore, it is a requirement that in order to participate in the weekend, participants must arrive at the beginning of the weekend, by 12 noon on Friday. In planning your trip, you are expected to take into consideration the unpredictable delays that may accompany your travel. While we understand you may encounter delays for many reasons, we are unable to allow anyone to begin the weekend if your delay is greater than 2 hours. In other words, you cannot be admitted to the weekend after 2 pm for any reason. If you are experiencing a delay, we request you to call us to inform us of your arrival status. It is important to understand that in the event of your inability to attend due to late arrival, you will forfeit all monies paid for your registration. One strategy to avoid this situation is to arrive in the city of the weekend the night before, or a city near the airport. MaleSurvivor will provide you with information about budget hotels near the facility to help facilitate your stay. Your consideration of this policy will help strengthen the feeling of safety for all participants and help us to build a community.
Therapist Recommendation Letter:
When you register online, you will notice a link to a therapist recommendation letter. If you register by mail, we will mail you the letter. We ask that all participants who are currently in therapy bring this letter to your therapist prior to the weekend, and ask them to complete it with you and send it back to us by March 23rd. The information in this letter will help us to provide for any additional needs you may have for safety. It is our intention to use this letter to help ensure your safety, and in no way is it intended to disempower you or cast doubt on your own judgment about your readiness to participate in the weekend.
Payment: (To secure a space, a deposit of $150 or full fee must be paid at the time of registration)
In order to hold your registration, you must deposit at least $150 at the time of your registration. If we do not receive any payment with your registration, we will not consider you registered. If you want the "early registration discount", then we must receive your complete payment by January 23, 2009. If you want the early holiday year end discount of an additional $25, pay in full by December 31st. By registering early, you can also pay over time: we can charge your credit card the initial deposit of $150 when you register, and then on January 23rd, we’ll charge the balance and you’ll be paid in full by the early registration deadline. There is a place on the registration form to contact us if you do not choose to pay in full by the early registration. If you want to pay over the next 3 months, you can give us permission to charge your credit card 2 more times for the balance of your room, payable in 2 equal payments on January 27th and February 27th. If you do not have a credit card, you can also pay by check, but all payments must be RECEIVED by February 27th in order to hold your registration. Remember that if you choose this option, we will add $50 to your charge for late registration.
Cancellations will be accepted up to February 27th, minus a handling charge of $50. If you cancel after February 27th, and we are unable to fill your space with someone on the waiting list, you will be subject to a loss of all monies paid to MaleSurvivor.
If we have not received your entire payment by February 27th, we will cancel your registration automatically unless you have made other arrangements.
ANY QUESTIONS:
Questions can be directed to Howard Fradkin at 614-445-8277, ext. 11, or emailed to hfradkin@malesurvivor.org ; or to Trisha Massa, MaleSurvivor Administrative Assistant, at 800-738-4181, or emailed to admin@malesurvivor.org
