Home > Weekends of Recovery > 2008 Weekends of Recovery: Mysthaven
MaleSurvivor Weekend of Recovery Level I: DARE TO DREAM
November 7-9, 2008: Mysthaven Country Retreat and Spa
REGISTRATION NOW OPEN--CLICK HERE
Please note: All participants at Mysthaven will share bathroom facilities. There are 5 showers and 8 toilets located throughout the building for our use.
MaleSurvivor Weekends of Recovery are open to any man, 18 or older, who been sexually victimized as a child and/or as an adult. We have chosen Mysthaven Country Retreat and Spa as our location for our next Canadian weekend. Mysthaven offers the ultimate revitalizing experience, conveniently located just half an hour northeast of downtown Toronto, in Ontario, Canada. Mysthaven is a beautiful 55-acre property, with several private lakes, ponds, and streams, miles of private forest trails, and breathtaking vistas from all of the huge windows in the 10,500 square ft. main lodge. From the moment you first enter the long tree-lined drive you will be embraced with the peace and quiet of nature. You'll glimpse the shimmering water of two lakes on either side of the drive. By the time you reach the lodge you will notice you are already breathing more deeply and feeling both alert and relaxed as you take in the fresh air, hearing birdsong and the rustle of trees gently swaying in the breeze. Up the limestone steps of the rock garden surrounding the lodge, and into the sculpted glass double doors, you'll enter the wide marble lobby. The main floor features high ceilings, hardwood floors, wood and gas fireplaces and bright airy rooms for large or more intimate functions. We'll have the facility completely to ourselves. A variety of accommodations will be available, and we'll have space for up to 27 men for this weekend.
Goals of the Weekend of Recovery:
The facilitator team invites you to:
Dare to dream you can leave your isolation behind you at this weekend;
Dare to dream you can make real connections with the men and women at the weekend;
Dare to dream you can co-create and experience a sense of real safety;
Dare to dream you can claim your right to use your voice to become a powerful male survivor who is sensitive to his own feelings and experiences and those of other survivors here;
Dare to dream you can tell your story this time and be understood and believed and supported like you have always deserved;
Dare to dream you can experiment with being more vulnerable and letting go and still feel safe;
Dare to dream you will be able to leave Mysthaven a freer, less burdened, and even a happier man, taking the connections you make here with you to utilize as you continue to heal and recover!
Facilitator Team:
Weekends of Recovery are facilitated by trained psychotherapists, utilizing the same clinical boundaries and code of ethics as adopted by the American Psychological Association. The weekends are adjuncts to participants' ongoing recovery work with individual and/or group psychotherapy, twelve step programs, and individual spiritual work, and are not meant to substitute for the participants' local support systems that are consistent with their own recovery. Dr. Howard Fradkin, a Psychologist with over 27 years of experience working with male survivors, chairs the facilitator team. The team of facilitators includes other Psychologists, Social Workers, Marriage and Family Therapists, and Mental Health Counselors. Biographies of all staff members for this weekend can be found on the MaleSurvivor website at www.malesurvivor.org The rest of the team includes: John Crowe, Dale English, Lynne MacDonell, Mikele Rauch, and Hildie Jacyk. MaleSurvivor reserves the right to make changes to the staff depending on enrollment.
Facilitator bios can be found on the MaleSurvivor website at www.malesurvivor.org
Is this for Me? How Can I Prepare for the Weekend?
For those working with professionals, we recommend you discuss your planned participation in this weekend to get their feedback and suggestions for how you can benefit as much as possible from the experience while keeping yourself as safe as you need to be. All participants must be able to safely and appropriately engage in structured group activities. When we receive your completed registration form, we will also send you a form for your therapist to complete and return to us. You can also download the form on our website as well. If you have an already established support system of friends/family members/significant others, we also encourage you to talk with them about your participation so they can be available both before and after the weekend as needed to help you prepare and process your experiences.
If you are not in therapy, and/or do not yet have a support network, we encourage you to consider setting up an appointment with a therapist either before you come to the retreat, or after your return, and/or encourage you to explore what types of self-help groups and resources are available in your community or near by. This way you can follow up on some of the experiences and skills you learn that will help the weekend's learning stay fresh in your mind and help you apply what skills and awareness would most help your continuing recovery.
One of our staff members will be contacting you by phone within two weeks of when we receive your application to talk with you about your needs for the weekend and your readiness to participate. All participants must be able to safely and appropriately engage in structured group activities. If we have any concerns about you participating, we may suggest some steps you can take to enhance your readiness for this weekend or we may ask you to wait for a future weekend while you take some additional steps we believe would be important for you to benefit from the experience. Please do not schedule your travel arrangements until after your interview is completed and you have been told you have been accepted as a participant. The facilitator team will make every effort to complete that process as quickly as possible. The earlier you register, the more possible that will be (which of course could help you save money on transportation and by getting an early registration discount).
You can read comments from other participants on our web page, by clicking on the tab for the Weekends of Recovery, and then clicking on "testimonials". Many participants have told us that the weekend is a very intense and rewarding experience, and at the same time sometimes it is quite uncomfortable. We recognize that one of the challenges male survivors have is feeling comfortable enough to ask for help, especially when they are feeling most in need of the help. For participants who are aware they have a problem with dissociation, this can be an especially difficult challenge. We would encourage you to practice asking for help before the weekend, perhaps with your own therapist, as well as with friends and significant others, and to assess for yourself what gets in your way of asking for the help you need so you can let us know when we contact you prior to the retreat. The facilitators are all very skilled therapists, and often times we can be sensitive and intuitive enough to know you need help even when you are not asking. However, we will clearly need your help and ask you to take the risk to articulate your needs during the retreat. To the extent you can help us know you are needing some extra help at any time during the weekend, this will help you to have an even safer and hopefully more beneficial experience.
During the weekend, we'll invite you to participate in a number of different types of activities. We'll spend some time helping each of you to feel as safe as possible. We'll take our time getting to know each other by sharing a little at a time. Frequently during the weekend we will meet in small groups, where you can have more individual time to talk and share your feelings and observations.
Everyone will be given some opportunities to choose how to tell your story - through words, through art, through movement, and/or through music. We'll also introduce you to some different types of relaxation and visualization exercises you may choose to do at home to increase your abilities to cope and manage life stresses. We'll also give you time to wander the beautiful retreat grounds alone or with some of your fellow participants.
Survivors with perpetration history:
Any person who has been adjudicated (found guilty) of sexual perpetration would not be eligible for participation in the weekends. Because many survivors have sexually acted out in childhood, adolescence or even young adulthood, we do not wish to automatically exclude them from a Weekend of Recovery. However, to assess each participant on a case-by-case basis, we want to be able to discuss perpetration history with them and their therapist. This means that in order to assure other participants that we have their absolute safety in mind, we want to be able to screen anyone with such a history to determine if attending a weekend is in their best interest and the best interest of all participants. We encourage all potential participants to be honest when we call you about any such incidents(ces) in your past because some participants may be unable to deal with people with such histories. In such cases, an interview with the Weekends of Recovery Chairperson will be required to determine if you will be accepted.
Registration Costs
Registration includes the costs of the facilitated Weekend of Recovery program, with our 6-8 skilled facilitators from the MaleSurvivor Weekend of Recovery Facilitator Team, plus lodging, 7 meals, and snacks. Bottled water, juices, tea and coffee will be available throughout the weekend. We have a variety of accommodations at the center. If you are not a MaleSurvivor member, we encourage you to join the organization prior to registration both to secure a significant $50 discount and to help support the work of MaleSurvivor. Limited numbers of each type of accommodation are available, and will be distributed on a first come, first served basis. You can also save $50 more by registering early!
NOTE: All prices quoted are in US dollars.
| Category | Description | Price |
| A1 | Single Bath - MaleSurvivor Member | $750 |
| A1 | Deposit Only | $150 |
| A2 | Single Bath - Non-Member | $800 |
| A2 | Deposit Only | $150 |
| B1 | Double bath - MaleSurvivor Member | $675 |
| B1 | Deposit Only | $150 |
| B2 | Double bath - Non-Member | $725 |
| B2 | Deposit Only | $150 |
| C1 | Triple Bath - MaleSurvivor Member | $600 |
| C1 | Deposit Only | $150 |
| C2 | Triple w/shared bath - Non-Member | $650 |
| C2 | Deposit Only | $150 |
| D1 | Dorm room (quad or quintuplet) bath - Member | $525 |
| D1 | Deposit Only | $150 |
| D2 | Dorm room (quad or quintuplet) bath - Non-Member | $575 |
| D2 | Deposit Only | $150 |
All prices quoted above are for Early Registration (by September 5th)
Registration after September 5th: Add $50
To register for the weekend, we ask that you complete an online registration at www.malesurvivor.org and/or mail in a registration form. To hold your spot for the weekend, we are requesting at least $150 deposit with your registration. You will have the choice on the registration form to either prepay your registration in full at the time of registration or opt for a payment plan. If you want to take advantage of the early registration discount, your total registration must be paid by September 5th. Your balance will automatically charged to your credit card on September 5th and you will still receive the early registration discount. You may also forgo the early registration discount, and make payments between the time you register and one month prior to the weekend, when all payments are due (October 5th). Our registration system will inform you when you register about the dates when future payments will be charged to your account split up between the time you register and October 5th. You may also mail in checks, but all payments must be received by October 5th. Holding your registration will be contingent on receipt of your additional registration fees on these dates. Any registration which is not paid in full by October 5th is subject to cancellation and a $50 cancellation fee. Any cancellation after October 5th will be subject to the loss of all monies paid, unless we can find a replacement for your space in the weekend.
Scholarships:
Dependent on MaleSurvivor's scholarship fund balance, a very limited number of partial scholarships will be available for this weekend. If you have a need for a scholarship, please click on Weekends of Recovery tab at the website, and complete the form, which MaleSurvivor will email to Howard Fradkin, weekend Chairperson. If your scholarship request can be granted, Howard will email you back with authorization to register. We encourage those requesting scholarships to apply for partial scholarships and to commit to paying as much of the registration yourself as possible ( or ask others to assist you in your support group). This enables MaleSurvivor to make more scholarships available to more participants. We can only provide assistance with registration costs, and cannot at this time provide any assistance with transportation costs.
If you are in a position to assist with our scholarship fund, you can contribute through the MaleSurvivor website by donating to the Memorial Fund or on the registration form. Thanks for any help you can provide.
Dining:
Mysthaven will prepare all of our meals. Special food requests, such as vegetarian or vegan, will need to be reserved ahead of time, but are definitely available.
Other information about Mysthaven: No alcohol or un-prescribed drugs may be brought to the weekend.
Accessibilty: Mysthaven is wheelchair accessible, and there is an elevator in the main building to access all three floors.
There are some spectacular hiking trails around Mysthaven. If you plan to participate in any hiking activities, please pack hiking boots (or shoes comfortable for easy & moderate hiking trails), a hiking stick (if you use one), & a day pack. All bedding, towels, hair dryers, shampoo and shower gel are provided.
When to Arrive and Depart - Making Plane Reservations & Customs Information
The weekend begins at 12 noon on Friday, and ends Sunday at 3 pm.
Mysthaven is only 35 minutes by car or 60 minutes by GO train from Toronto's Union station, and a convenient hour or less drive (depending on time of day) from Pearson International Airport. If you are traveling from the United States, please plan on extra time to get through customs (this varies tremendously; an hour is a reasonable estimate). Passengers arriving on flights originating outside of Canada must clear Canadian Inspection Services. On the aircraft, the flight crew will distribute the Travellers' Customs Declaration Card. Upon landing, the aircraft is normally met by its airline representative who escorts passengers to Canada Customs. American visitors to Canada DO need a passport to cross in either direction. Visitors may be asked to verify citizenship and should therefore carry any one of the following documents: birth certificate, naturalization certificate, Green Card or passport. Photo identification is also required so visitors should carry their driver's license or other photo ID with them.
Given travel time, we recommend all participants plan to arrive on Friday no later than 10:30 am; and plan to depart on Sunday no earlier than 4:30 pm from Toronto. If you cannot accommodate your schedule to arrive and depart at these times, please be considerate and do not register. Late arrivals would miss important orientation information, and we ask that all participants plan to stay until the end of the weekend on Sunday to allow you sufficient time for closure. If you find that the only airline reservations you can find will require an overnight stay on either Thursday or Sunday, we are sorry, but we cannot provide overnight accommodations on Thursday or Sunday evening at Mysthaven However, a reasonable facility nearby is the Stouffville Inn, 10-15 minutes away, and the price is $67 CAN per night, located at 38 Ringwood Drive Stouffville, Ontario L4A 8C1; Phone: 905-642-2929; Fax: 905-642-4242
Also, you might try Musselman Lake Bed & Breakfast 14835 Ninth Line in Stouffville, Ontario L4A 7X3 at (905) 642-3849 or email: kywen@rogers.com is also a possibility: $80-120 CAN.
BUS , TRAIN and CAR TRANSPORTATION
VIA Rail and AMTRAK bring visitors into the heart of the city each day. Toronto's Union Station is located centrally downtown and connects to the underground subway. When you register, we will provide further information on travel from Union Station to Mysthaven.
No alcohol or un-prescribed drugs may be brought to the weekend.
Arrival Policy
Safety for all participants is our utmost concern. Therefore, it is a requirement that in order to participate in the weekend, participants must arrive at the beginning of the weekend, by 12 noon on Friday. In planning your trip, you are expected to take into consideration the unpredictable delays that may accompany your travel. While we understand you may encounter delays for many reasons, we are unable to allow anyone to begin the weekend if your delay is greater than 2 hours. In other words, you cannot be admitted to the weekend after 2 pm for any reason. If you are experiencing a delay, we request you to call us to inform us of your arrival status. It is important to understand that in the event of your inability to attend due to late arrival, you will forfeit all monies paid for your registration. One strategy to avoid this situation is to arrive in the city of the weekend the night before, or a city near the airport. (See suggestions above) Your consideration of this policy will help strengthen the feeling of safety for all participants and help us to build a community.
Therapist Recommendation Letter:
When you register online, you will notice a link to a therapist recommendation letter and there is also a link under the tab for the Weekends of Recovery . If you register by mail, we will mail you the letter. We ask that all participants who are currently in therapy bring this letter to your therapist prior to the weekend, and ask them to complete it with you and send it back to us by May 12th. The information in this letter will help us to provide for any additional needs you may have for safety. It is our intention to use this letter to help ensure your safety, and in no way is it intended to disempower you or cast doubt on your own judgment about your readiness to participate in the weekend.
Consent Form
There is also a tab on the website under Weekends of Recovery which contains our Participant Consent Form. We suggest you download this form and review it before you are interviewed. We ask that you bring your copy to the weekend, where we will provide you another opportunity to ask any questions you have. All participants must sign a consent form in order to participate in the weekend.
Schedule:
Below is the tentative schedule for the weekend:
Male Survivor Weekend of Recovery Tentative Schedule November 7-9, 2008
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2008
| 10:00am - 12:00pm |
Registration And Check In to Rooms |
| 12:00pm - 1:00pm | Lunch |
| 1:00pm - 1:45pm | Welcome and Guidelines for Participation |
| 1:45pm - 2:00pm | Break-Art Space open during all breaks |
| 2:00pm - 3:00pm | Co-creating Safety Guidelines |
| 3:00pm - 3:15pm | Break |
| 3:15pm - 4:15pm | Introducing Ourselves |
| 4:15pm - 4:30pm | Break |
| 4:30pm - 6:00pm | First Small Groups |
| 6:00pm - 6:30pm | Break/Journaling/Reflecting/Networking |
| 6:30pm - 7:30pm | Dinner |
| 7:30pm - 8:00pm | Break/Survivor T-shirts |
| 8:00pm - 9:30pm | Grounding and Centering |
| 9:30pm + | Journaling/Reflecting/Networking/Bedtime |
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2008
| 7:00am - 8:00am | Optional Walking Meditation |
| 8:00am - 9:00am | Breakfast |
| 9:00am - 9:15am | Check-In |
| 9:15am - 10:00am | Preparing to Tell My Story |
| 10:00am - 12:00pm | Telling My Story-Small Groups |
| 12:00pm - 12:30pm | Break/Reflecting/Art |
| 12:30pm - 1:30pm | Lunch |
| 1:30pm - 3:00pm | Optional Hike/Survivor T-Shirts |
| 3:00pm - 5:00pm | Sculpting |
| 5:15pm - 6:15pm | Small Groups |
| 6:15pm - 6:30pm | Break |
| 6:30pm - 7:30pm | Dinner |
| 7:30pm - 8:00pm | Break/Journaling/Reflecting/Networking/T-shirts |
| 8:00pm - 10:00pm | Shame Busting |
| 10:00pm + | Optional Drumming Circle/Campfire |
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 2008
| 7:00am - 8:00am | Optional Walking Meditation |
| 8:00am - 8:45am | Breakfast |
| 9:00am - 9:15am | Check-In |
| 9:15am - 11:00am | Community Building |
| 11:00am - 11:15am | Break |
| 11:15am - 12:45pm | Brief evaluation; last small group |
| 12:45pm - 1:00pm | Break |
| 1:00pm - 1:45pm | Lunch |
| 1:45pm - 2:00pm | Break |
| 2:00pm - 3:00pm | Closing/Group pictures |
ANY QUESTIONS
Questions can be directed to Howard Fradkin at 614-445-8277, ext. 11, or emailed to hfradkin@malesurvivor.org ; or to Trisha Massa, MaleSurvivor Administrative Assistant, at 800-738-4181, or emailed to admin@malesurvivor.org
REGISTRATION NOW OPEN--CLICK HERE
