Hi Sunshine,

Thanks for that.
Yes, sometimes in life, it is wiser to give up, than fight to the end.

but my enemy strangulates me.

when im in a mens room, Im shy to use the urinals. I used to always use the rooms, but now I take courage each time, and I dont care if I have to stand at the urinal forever, but I will not hide in the rooms.

In all my relationships, I used to only care about what gives my partner pleasure. How he feels, etc. I cannot do that any longer. Selfish as it may seem, I will not let myself be in an abusive relationship any longer.

For twenty five years, I have lived a lie. I've lived like a pseudo heterosexual. And now I cannot take it any longer. Im happier in my gay self.
I revel in my hard earned status as a fabulous freak of nature (Thanks Alanis).

So, you see, I have been my enemy. I have let my abuse take over. I have let myself be submissive, a slave, a lie, a zombie.

I cant not fight.