The Boy Inside
I see his refection in the mirror. He is standing there with his head hanging low. When I turn around and reach out for him, he is not there. I realize it was all a dream.
As I wake up each morning, I see him standing there watching and waiting for me. When I raise my head and wipe the sleep from my eyes, I realize he is not there, it was all a dream.
When I am driving through my neighborhood, I can see him walking down the street. As I turn the car around to follow him, I realize he is not there, it was all a dream.
As I drive home from work, I can see him sitting beside me with tears running down his face. When I reach out to offer him comfort, I realize he is not there, it is all a dream.
Where is this little boy I am searching for?
When I close my eyes at night, I can hear a little boy's cry. I hear him asking "Why? Why? Why?" I try to run to him, to protect him from the night. The crying seems to get louder but this little boy is nowhere insight. As my search continues, for what seems like years, I feel myself getting closer with every falling tear. I look for him once more in the dead of night. I pray that I find him, I wish that I might. Finally I close my eyes and I empty my mind. I wish only to see what I hope to find. There he is, his eyes full of tears, the small boy I have searched for, for almost twenty years. I sit down beside him and I beg him to stay, saying "Lets try to become friends and I can wipe those tears away." Slowly this small little boy picks up his head. He looks deep into my eyes, with his face full of dread. I ask him, "What happened? Why do you cry?" The little boy still sobbing cries out his reply, "He promised to love me, he said he would ease my pain, but all he did was fill my heart with shame."
I put one hand on the little boy's shoulder and with the other I wipe his eyes. Slowly he puts his arms around me, and I feel my heart sigh. Together we sit there all night long. Somehow I feel that this is where I belong. This little boy which I found in the night, slowly tells me about his pain and the rest of his life. How everything he does seems to be wrong. He can never find a place where he feels he belongs. Then as more tears filled this boys eyes, he talked about his uncle and of his uncle's lies. This little boy tells how is uncle warmed him with a smile. How was he to know it was just his uncle's style. He tells how is uncle used his lack of experience and in gaining the boy's trust, his uncle stole his innocence. I look into his eyes, I sigh and say "I am sorry he hurt you, he hurt me too! But if we can stick together, there is nothing we can't do."
Sitting there holding this small lost boy, I get filled with the true feelings of love and joy. For the twenty years that I searched for him, I had overlooked the prison I held within. Now that my love and joy are able to flow, I realize the small lost boy was the part of me I had not let grow.
"Please love and protect all children, they are the future of us all!!"