I'm feeling so bad for OUR loss. SeaOtter \:\( , he's one of us and it just made me understand how different each of us have our pain and why we're connected so. I don't think I'll be suicidal for a while even though he didn't have the strength to do it that way, I've thought and acted on it many times. Through the pain we are brothers that have gone through an initiation process that no child should have underwent. We now as men have been demolished and are now continually rebuilding what we believe should be in us and around us when we have known the twisted elements of the world.
This made me think today.

There is one thing I believe though, through faith we are saved. I'm anti-religious, against the norm of religiousity.... which in truth the Bible does not want for us. Religious is when you do something ritualistically to prove to God or another deity that you are worthy enough. I grew up Catholic(One of my perps was a priest, please don't take this as that being my reasoning for writing this) I'm sorry but a majority of what is taught is from tradition of doing things, most of it is not Biblical. The majority of Catholics don't even read the Bible for themselves and I believe that saddens God. He gave the Word for each of us. How do you go through life thinking you might go to heaven, you know the whole purgitory thing(limbo)? You can not prove to God that you are good enough, it takes away the whole point of grace. Grace was why Jesus came... to save us, to cleanse us in the sight of God. Why? Because John 3:16 and just about the whole Bible.... starting in Genisis when Adam made that choice in Genisis, to the last word of Revelation. I'm at church just about everyday because I want to be there not because it proves my faith. In the end it will matter if you've accepted the Gift that God layed for us and the promisses that are still yet to come. I still carry anger towards God for a lot of my life but I understand and I know that He does, He loves me, He loves us, and He knows what happened, and He grieves for us... the hurt. Here's something short to read, try to read it in as many translations you can find. Psalms 56. I love you guys.... this is just what came to mind, I think I should try to put my two sense in on the topic of religion since I'm able... I've come to Him as a child in a mans body and I believe I understand Him enough to share. Please ask me questions, get me to talk. No matter how unstable I might be I know that God loves me. He is the only truth!