Apologies for posting about a movie in the "songs" area. I didn't scroll down far enough.

Anyway, in the last week since the shit hit the fan, I've had several movies popping to mind. The first one to grab my attention was The Matrix, because of how jarring it was to wake up after taking the "green pill." My whole life had to take on a new understanding in just a few minutes' time. And then deconstructing how I had repressed all these memories, I feel like I had been living in the Matrix all this time. My brain had made this carefully-constructed fantasy world for me to grow up in. Looking back, it's good that I was able to grow up withOUT this baggage, so that I could become strong enough to deal with. As SoCalJohn told me, I've been healing all along.

I've also been thinking about Unbreakable a lot, since it's about someone who's life has been lived in a fog, until he discovers the truth about his purpose. And it's about being a hero (not just a superhero).

And then there's the Truman Show, in which Truman asks "Don't you ever feel like your life has been building up to something? Something big?" (or something to that effect). Because I always have. And the way that I repressed my memories, and how my brain kept holding up clues until I was ready to see them, I feel like there is some sort of method to the madness.

Then there is 12 Monkeys. It's about questioning your sanity. And it stars Madeline Stowe.

...who was in Closetland, a movie my brother brought to my attention a long time ago, when I worked at Blockbuster video. It starts out like Kafka's The Trial, then dovetails into issues of molest. And I wonder why my brother suggested that particular movie to me (or how he found it... it's an indy flick).

There were a few more movies on my brain in the last few days, but those are the ones I can think of. I'm beginning to think that I can bring ANY movie back around to the abuse, or recovery. Since I'm heading to a comic book convention in a few days, my mind is on heroes. And I'm beginning to feel like one (or at least that I want to be one).

We're all stronger than anyone thinks we are. Don't let anyone tell you different.

We are TRUE SURVIVORS! Fuck the million bucks!

J
would like the million bucks after all

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We're in this together. - Nine Inch Nails