To me you sound like you are having alot on your plate at this time. Would you know that for me, I've had help now for up to a year, and that for me, I'm doing much better now.
Would you seek help, if it's going to be of help for you?
My Dad and Mom drank when I was growing up, so that made me the adultchild. Not only did they drink around me and they had sex too.
But why my Dad let me get hurt from other adult males, I'll never understand. I think I wanted to be in control alot also, and after I'd grown, well I had to make changes also. As you might have already found it can be kinda sad at times, making chaanges and all, I hope that you can find the help for you, like I had been greatful for, even if it doesn't feel like it at this time.
fmighell Anc Ak