Larry,

You've hit a great big nail right smack on the head. Yes, the fact that our bodies and minds responded to the stimulation with pleasurable physical, mental, and emotional responses is a big part of the bag of survivor issues I'm carrying around. I was taking sex as a need-filler at an early age -- before I was capable of distinguishing the 'good' things I was feeling from the 'bad'. On the good side was that I was getting attention that was making me feel good and better about myself while it was happening; on the bad side was that I couldn't tell anybody about it because it just couldn't be talked about. Two elements in tension that add up to a lot of shame, disgust and self-loathing.

John

_________________________
Take for us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards; for our vines have tender grapes. Song of Solomon 2:15

But let justice roll down as waters, and righteousness as a mighty stream. Amos 5:24