Joel,
Welcome to the site and what you want to say is important. That is part of the problem many of us deal with, that our feelings and emotions were not important during the abuse. Now it is difficult to express them for fear we will be judge about what happened to us. None of us wanted to be abused and we did not do the abuse. The abusers who harmed us are the ones who committed these acts against us. We need to express our questions so we can begin our recovery otherwise the abusers still have power over us. So don't be afraid we all started out scared and uncertain thinking that we would be judged harshly.

Chuck