Hello, All. First time posting, so guess I am playing catch up with who has gone through what and whether or not I am alone in some of my feelings.

Its been a bad couple of weeks, and I am unfortunately getting the feelings and desires of giving up on this stuff. I have been dealing with recovery of an S/A for going onto 3 years now. Without boring anyone with detail after detail (though I could go on for hours about it), I'm having the feeling that there is a hell of a lot of secondary gain for the SA when they feel miserable.

I guess, what I am asking, have others found themselves or felt that the survivor sometimes gets locked into not trying to move forward? They seem to verbalize that they want to gain control,that they will do anything to not be a victim again, but don't really appear to do anything positive about taking control.

Thanks.

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"Love yourself, like you want everyone to love you." - no author, just popped into my head tonight, plagarize the Golden Rule.