Hi I am a looking for advise because I have recently been told by my boyfriend that he was sexually molested when he was 5 years old. I am a survivor and know what effects come from this some of which he has experienced (depression, Isolation, excessive eating). He is a wonderful man and we love each other tremendously. My dilema is mostly because we have already discussed marriage and children plus I have a 2 year old son of my own. I am concerned that his abuse (because it was not treated) may become a pattern and I am afraid (not of him but the effect this may have had on him). I have never been an abuser and I know it is possible to have been abused and not have the pattern repeated, but how can I be sure? I love my son and do not want him to go through what we went through. We have discussed our feelings about the abuse we encountered and we agree that any type of abuse on children is not only wrong but something we would fight against for our children sake. Why do I still feel this doubt? He has not done anything around my son that is not appropriate yet I do not want to leave them alone at all. I thought it strange when he first told me he was a virgin (at 27) since I was totally the oppisite because of my abuse. Now I don't know what to think. I mean I know he wants to be intimate with me(I am wanting to wait) so that makes me think he does want to move forward I am just confused and scared. I don't want to hurt him either because I feel it would be a set back for him and that is the last thing I want (I love him too much to hurt him). He is a wonderful person and I am lucky to have met him. Please help! I want to know how to talk to him without making him regret he confided in me and also see if he can seek some sort of help without making it obvious that I have thought he may or may not one day abuse my son (or our children).