Hi. I'm new here and am just beginning to try to figure this out. I am married to a wonderful man, for 2-1/2 years. I knew he had SA in his childhood, but did not know the extent until just recently. Up until 3 months ago we have had a long distance relationship. We are together now and the tension is consistantly high. It seems to stem from my anger at him. I knew he liked pornography. I don't, in general, have a problem with that. But it seems like it is a drug for him. Like he needs to have it daily, at the least. He tells me this is a reaction to what happened to him in his past and is not a reflection on me or our relationship and that I shouldn't feel threatened. Does this sound right? I am just starting to research, so I don't know. Still, I get angry and hurt, because he tries to hide this from me or looks at it while I am downstairs cleaning or sleeping in the next room. I am questioning my trust in him. The closeness that we've had in the past is not there anymore. I am off to find some books and am looking into therapy for me. I feel like he needs therapy as well, but it is not for me to send him. He should find it on his own. Again, does that sound right to anyone? I just don't want to cause more damage. Anyway, thanks for any responses and for letting me vent a little. I feel awfully alone in this and terribly inexperienced. I love this man more than anything, but the past several months have been draining. Any advice is appreciated.

Thanks