I hope that anyone can give me some understanding for my situation.
My husband is American (I am Australian) and after 3 years of being
together, he left in November to return to the USA. He said that he
was "depressed" and could not cope any more. I went over there for
Christmas and found the man he had always been to me and still
claimed that he "loved me" and just had to get himself right. He
went to counselling and in the process emerged childhood sexual abuse
which he had buried. I was not surprised, because he had all the
symptoms (having been an abuse survivor myself, I was aware of some
of the symptoms) and he seemed to always be chronically depressed. I
came back to Australia with his promise that he would return.
However, over the last week, he has seemed to have gone backwards and
has gone back to his past "negative" comments, those being that he
is "no good for me", "a failure" and "that I should find someone
else". After another short break, he has sent emails saying "that he
truly does love me" and he has spoken to members of my
family, "crying and saying the same", but needs more time.
I know he is afraid, particularly now of his sexuality and whether he
can be a husband to me. I do not wish to desert him. I love him and
in all our time together, he was the kindest, most caring man I've
ever met. I am afraid to know what to do, as I almost cannot bear to
be hurt any further.
I would appreciate any comments, or advice, or even any male points
of view on my situation. I just do not understand why, if he says
that he loves me, he would wish to be away from me.