Eddie has been urging me to start a new thread. Today has finally made me feel overwelmed with the frustration of being the partner of an SA survivor.

The problem is not the result of anything that the survivor did just the FOOLS that they and therefore,I, am subjected to. I have such a hard time with the ANGER that I feel when some A..HOLE intentionally acts to hurt my spouse.

We have been married for 22+ years, but have been only battling with the 'ghosts of SA' for about 1 1/2 years since those LONG repressed horrors have seeped thru the chinks in his armor. Early in this struggle during the fall of 2000, Eddie needed professional help to deal with the flashbacks, rage and angry outbursts that would have eventually resulted in legal troubles. A 3 week outpatient program for PTSD survivors at the local psych hospital was prescribed. In this most vulnerable time in his adult life **he disclosed the SA history ONLY to his Immediate SUPERVISOR ** to explain the request for sick leave. The medical leave was granted and, in the long run, the program has been the cornerstone of his recovery.

In the spring that same supervisor hired a 'chief' mechanic to handle the day to day operations. This FOOL is a piece of work. A BIGOT with a gutter mouth. The IGNORANT SOB spread rumors thru the shop that perpetuate the stereotype that boys who have been raped MUST be gay. What ever happened to the concept that your supervisor should keep your medical history CONFIDENTIAL.

Only my great LOVE for Eddie stops me from actually attacking this SUB-HUMAN slug. Eddie says if a complaint is filed it will just be his word against the FOOL's. Eddie is RIGHT! He has even asked other workers to assist him by repeating the slanderous comments, but they are all afraid.

Eddie says they will retaliate for any complaint (fabricate evidence if necessary)
and considering they hired such a SLIME BUCKET and allow him to spread such lies I'm forced to agree. Eddie is RIGHT, Again!

Why am I in a murderous mood again today? Eddie had back surgery 2 months and just returned to work today. One of Eddie's co-workers mentioned that Eddie would like to work the day shift so he could be with me at nights. Yes, it would have been a joy (after 15+ years of night shift, 11PM-7AM). The chief responded that "Ed doesn't really want pussy, you'all know what Ed likes".

This trauma is so hard to deal with and recover from that having "to Suffer such Fools" is CRIMINAL. Lord, Give Us Strength!!

Babs