Thanks in advance for everyone who responds to this post. Thank you also for all the words of encouragement and support you all give to each other. I have been reading other posts and find that the advice is very helpful.
OK here it goes. My husband and I have been marred for over 5 years. About 9 months ago we had an arguement over why our sex life had been declining over the last 6 months. I thought he didn't want to work on our relationship and was very mad at him. He very reluctantly told me that something had brought back memories of sexual abuse that happened when he was twelve. H e did not want to tell me this information but figured I had a suspision (which I didn't)
When he told me I was completly blown away and responded completly wrong...but I'm educating my self and getting much better on what I should be doing.
Since he told me we have been having problems. First, we have no intimacy. When my husband first told me he couldn't even look at me he was so embaressed. Now, he doesn't want to kiss me or initiate any intimate acts. If we do start to kiss he gets physically repulsed by me. He starts to get nauseated, have palpitations, and sweats. He told me that he is trying because if he didn't love me he would pack up and move. He would like to move away from me because he feels so ashamed....I am the only one who knows his secret so he would like to run away from me at times.
He states that if he would go to counseling he would just sit there and not talk. He states he would read a book if I made him but he didn't want to talk about what he read. He wants to avoid the whole situation and never talk about it. It scares me that he is trying to work this out all on his own.
As I alluded to in my subject my life is great except this. My husband is my soul mate. We love each other so much and he is a great person. He is so kind, smart, and strong.
My problem is I feel horrible that he gets physically ill from me. I am only 28 and am scared that we may never have children or sex again. Is there any hope that our sex life will be normal again?
Do you have any suggestions for my husband? He seems fine on the outside except when I bring up the topic. Then he gets quiet and sad. I'm worried about what is going on in the inside and the fact that he is trying to deal with this all alone scares me. I know he would prefer if I never touch him and never talk about the issue.