I know that there isn't all that much activity on this board, but maybe somebody will help me out. My husband and I have been married for 20 years. Last fall, I found out that he was having an affair with a co-worker. I recently found out that the affair had begun last year in May. I kicked him out of the house, and he finally moved out in February. He had been behaving before he moved out, but he resumed seeing the other woman. I finally stopped speaking to him. In April, he told me that he admitted to his therapist that he had been sexually abused by a cousin when he was maybe 10 years old (he had casually mentioned this to me a few years ago). He's with a new therapist now, who thinks that, as a result of the abuse, he has an abnormal focus on sex. He stopped seeing the other woman at the beginning of May, and we were speaking regularly and seeing each other, but now he's seeing her again. He only sees her once a week except at work, so he's not going out of his way to spend time with her. I told him today that I will speak with him after his counseling sessions to hear how they go but will not see him again for a while because of his continued involvement with her. Does anybody have any advice? He knows that his relationship with her is not permanent and is probably motivated only by sex. He has also said that he is so ashamed about what happened to him that, since I know about it, he can't be with me, although he calls me several times every day and hangs around the house all weekend. I want to be supportive while he comes to grips with the problems resulting from the abuse (including convincing himself that he's not gay), but I have to watch out for myself. I need help!