AMS, I am a male survivor of sexual, physical and emotional abuse. I too am married and have worked on my own recovery from this abuse. I can tell you it will be a difficult road ahead but healing is possible! I spent more than three years in therapy and although I am doing much, much better today, I am still working on issues regarding my relationship with my wife but this too has improved and I know the worst is behind us.
I would like to recommend some books for you and him....there are many great books on these issues which can be found on this website listed on the NOMSV bookstore...you can purchase them on-line if you wish or you will find them at any of the larger bookstores near you. If you go to the top of the page and click on directory, then click on bookstore you will see just some of the many books available on these issues. The following books I have read and found very helpful.
"Allies in Healing; When the Person You Love was Abused as a Child, Support Book" written by Laura Davis
For HIM (you can read this too, it might help explain how he has been acting/reacting...coping/not coping)
"Abused Boys; the Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse" by Mic Hunter
and "Victims No Longer" by Mike Lew
All three of these authors are also presenting workshops at the upcoming NOMSV conference titled "Healing the Sexual Victimization of Boys and Men" It is to be held in late October in New York City....click on conferences above...then click on 2001 Conference for more info...you can pull workshop di>