I read your message on the board about your son who was abused by a kid just a few years older and then your daughter by your son. I was sexually abused by one of my brothers when I was 6-8yrs old. My brother is four years older than me. He also sexually abused my younger sister (she is only a year younger than me) when she was 5-7yrs old. He is five years older than her. My brother was sexually abused by my brother-in-law when he was young. My brother began sexually abusing us soon after he was abused. I agree you should not out right tell your son he is a "Child modelster" however, he did commit a sexual crime and needs to be shown what he did was wrong and has conquences. If he goes on without some kind conquences to show what he did was wrong he will think it to be ok and most likely do it again the first chance he gets. For him to even sexually abuse your daughter is HUGE. My oldest brother was sexually abused as well by another relative when he was a young boy but he has NEVER abused me or my sister unlike my other brother. So, I have two brothers who were sexually abused but only ONE who went out and sexually abused others. Why the difference? I have no tolerance or pitty for my brother who abused me just cause he was abused as well. I was abused by him but you don't see me out abuseing others. Don't make excuses for your son or the child who abused your son just because of their age. There was a sexual abuse crime done to your son and to your daughter know matter how old the abuser was. What the victim feels is the same know matter how old the person who abused them is. Trust me I know from experience. Don't hate your son but NEVER trust him again around your daughter PLEASE. Don't label him like some sick sexual preditor but don't pretend what he did never happened or hide it. Talk about it alot! Your son can go two ways...never abused another person again or he'll do it again and again until he is caught again. Don't let your daughter feel ashamed or like this is her fault. Remeber your daughter is a victim of what happened to her just as much as your own son was. To me age doesn't matter. When your a kid you still know what is right and wrong. You still know when something is dirty or not. The feelings of the victim is always the same...scared,ashamed,sad etc. To me I still consider it sexual abuse or rape know matter the age. I don't have any kind of relationship with the brother who sexually abused me ESP after I found out when he was 18-23yrs old he was raping my newphew from the age of 4-9yrs old. My parents for years was in deniel about my brother abuseing me and my sister and now the newest victim is my newphew. Don't be a parent like that please.