i hope you don't mind if i ask do you still somewhere deep down care about your dad? when i told my dad about what happ[ened to me he got angry and wanted me to lie to the police he said that my cousin hurting me was a family matter and he would deal with it ,like you i found out later that he knew my cousin was a pedophile when he took me to stay with him . when i told the police what happened to me my dad cut me out of his life forever ,the last thing he said to me was i was a little faggot and liked what my cousin did . trouble is i still loved him even after all that ,i wrote to him begging him to come home ,told him i was sorry i screwed up and told the police ,i even offered to tell them i had lied .i got no response why do we care about them ,i know i was only 11 but i needed my dad to be a dad ,i miss all the things we never did together,i hate myself for still wanting him to love me shadow

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its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice