i dont know how close this is but, i have held to many jobs for a long time, its not just an up or down the latter thing, i never asked how much they pay, come to think of it the longest job was 10ys, oilfield, the booze and drugs were great and plentifull, it was rig to rig so i can say that things were not the same job there, i did find that i will not trust another person,people are contemptable, if they get to close i leave, cant stand that shit, i also dispize touch, its an act of war with me or sex if female, i find myself working perty much alone, i prefer it that way, just the site of people brings back the abuse, now that i stopped the substance abuse i cant help but climb back into my black box and isolate,,, i wise i could do it forever.
sounds like you get an ego boost from yours
i used any mind altering thing i could get my hands on, sex was the most shamefull.....