it sounds like you are trying to change what happened to you......i've done just the opposite.....i've never had sex with anybody but the abuser......the effects of sexual abuse have no set criteria.....i'm a kleptomaniac because my therapist tells me i want to be punished for my sin......my sin of the abuse......the great internal hatred i have for myself.....the hatred that prompts me to attempt suicide every couple of months......hopefully, one of these times, i'll get it right........do not hate yourself for what you are doing......you might want to see a therapist to begin dealing with and maybe controlling the behavior.....it will be very hard but you might find the answer you are apparently searching for.......michael