I can't believe how life can changes so quickly and so dramatically.
Three weeks ago I had decided enough was enough and that I couldn't take on the fight any longer. I had thought the hard work had been completed, coming to terms with my abuse, telling close friends and family, most of all telling my then girlfriend. Then bang she left me. I couldn't see a reason to continue. I spoke to my therapist and she helped me see that there were reasons to continue. My parents, siblings, nephews, nieces and friends would all miss me and after finally getting to really know them I would miss them (they have been brilliant and supportive redgarding my abuse which occurred whilst I was in hospital having brainsurgery. The perp being a male nurse who was supposed to care for me).
Then after going into a local bookshop, I noticed that a local Buddhist center was holding an open day. I went along with a friend, not knowing what to expect and I was pleasantly surprised. I spoke to a Nun about my abuse and she really seemed to care. She suggested that I started meditation classes. It's one thing to have your therapist tell you it wasn't your fault etc but to keep being told this by different people from all walks of life really reinforces it. The classes help, I'm much calmer, don't get me wrong I'm still having bad days and I still miss my girlfriend, but I'm so much more positive.
I'm now back on track, looking forward to starting a college course in two weeks, I hope to become a Therapist eventually, I hope it's not the blind leading the blind, but my therapist thinks I'll do fine, so I'm going to give it a go. I'm extremely nervous but I think that's heathy, I'm going to be meeting new people on mass, the first time I've experienced that since going into hospital.
Have other survivors found anything apart from thrapy that has helped them?
Well that's enough of my rablings. I just want to say there is a life out there for us as survivors and I can't wait.
Oh one last thing I promise. I've never been on a chat room and I'm slightly intimidated. Is ours easy to use, do you need to use special jargon etc.
Be good to yourselves. Mark S