I have to vent a bit.........and it's going to get a bit dark....

We had a bill we never owed go to collections and it started a whirlwind of emotions for me that resulted in a HUGE amount of screaming on my part this morning.

This bill stems from his suicide attempt in 2008. I don't think I've ever forgiven him for that and as much as I've tried to go forward that horrible hollow feeling just always fills up with anger whenever I have to deal with things that are from that event.

I thought I was further over that than I am. I think having to lie about the "accident" just keeps the pain alive. Oh he had an "accident".....it was no f*cking accident. He ran everything down to nothing and then tried to leave me holding the bag with two kids. F*cking coward. I wasn't the one who molested him so I shouldn't have to pay the price for it.

I don't say most of that to HIM. I think it and try to stay on topic when I yell.

The people that were around him that day (I was at work) just walked away scott free regardless of what they gave him to drink or what pill they gave him to pop. I hold the bag though.

That event is a never ending f*cking nightmare for me.


Edited by sugarbaby (06/08/14 03:40 PM)