*** Triggers ***


Were do I begin? First let me explain about my mother. She was verbally abusive & very controlling. When she was married to my father, she was very unhappy and a miserable women. At a very young age, is when the verbal abuse started. I was a bed wetter growing up and she would scream at me. One time she had me undress and stay in my room naked as she hit me with my sheets that was wet with urine. I had to stay in my room for the whole day...no TV, no Toys and no clothes. She thought she was teaching me a lesson.

My mother had NO patience to deal with children. My younger sister was too young to remember. When my sister would cry (like all babies) my mother would scream "Shut the fuck up!!!" My father was never around and when he was around, they would fight & scream.

At age 11, my parents finally got a divorce and I was hoping my mother would be a bit nicer. When we moved out of our home and my mother rented a 3/2 apartment I no longer urinated in my bed, but my verbal abuse continued. Although it lighten up a bit, she still didn't have the patience and she wanted me to be the "man" of the house and blame a lot of her own issue on me and I guess she relied on me to pull her through emotionally. But since I was a child I didn't know how to handle adult responsibilities and that added to the verbal abuse.

Since we lived in a very small town in upstate New York, I would get many soar throats and since I was a "bed wetter", I would often be taken to the doctors. When my mother took me to the doctors office, she was instructed to wait in the waiting area. When the nurse called me back into the exam room, my mother would just sit and read a magazine. The nurse took me into the exam room, had me undress into my undies and took my vital signs. Once the nurse left, the doctor would be in the exam room in about 10 mins time looking over my chart.

The exams were always the same, he would look down my throat, take a throat culture using a swab, he would have my lay day on the exam table, he would listen to my heart...feel around my chest and work his hands down my lower tummy and then place his hands underneath my waistband of my undies and feel the base of my penis. I would always start having an erection.

At this time the doctor would remove my undies, have me spread my legs and would examine my balls and feel my penis. He would hold the base of my now hard penis and feel it up & down and then rub the sensitive part of my penis and I would always have a dry orgasm. My penis would throb in his hands and then he would remove his hands tell me to get dressed and he would give me a lollipop.

The nurse came back into the room and I was told to wait in the waiting room and then my mother was called back to speak to the doctor in his office. I have no clue what the spoke about.

As time went by and I reached the age of 12.5-13 years old, my mother took me to the doctor..I didn't have any sickness, nor soar throat and I cried because I didn't want to go to the doctors and I kept on asking why are we going, I'm not sick. My mother replied that since I'm getting older, its time to check my development & growth...I didn't understand and I was very upset.

Once we arrived at the doctors office, I actually ran out of the office and down the street and my mother came after me and screamed at me. I reluctantly went back into the exam room, but I had no choice. The nurse called my name and my mothers name. I didn't understand why she was coming back there with me.

The nurse again told me to undress...the exam rooms where very small...so the empty chair that I normally would place my clothes, I handed them to my mother. Once in my undies, the nurse took my vital signs as normal...but when the doctor arrived he looked in my throat and checked my armpits. He had me lay down and he immediately took off my undies exposing my penis with full view of my mother. He felt around my lower abdomen area and at this time I was starting to have pubic hair growing. I felt my pubic hair, had me spread my legs and feel my balls. He took from his pocket a set of oval balls on a string which I found out is called the "tanner staging" he measured each testicle for its size and wrote something down on his medical chart.

He then took out a finger latex rubber and placed it on his index finger and from the draw of the exam table, put some lube on it and had me bend my legs up exposing my anus and he inserted his finger into my anus feeling my prostrate, I felt like I had to piss. Once he took his finger out and my feet went back down on the exam table, my penis was erect and throbbing. He took off the rubber finger glove and then felt my penis up and down and like he normally does, hold onto the base and rub my sensitive head and I would ejaculate. Being only 12.5 years old going on 13, I didn't ejaculate that much, but enough for my mother to see. The doctor took some tissues and cleaned me up.

Afterward that first exam, I was ordered to get dressed and I was then returned to the waiting room while my mother spoke to the doctor. Again I had no clue what they spoke about.

When I saw my mother coming out of the doctors office, she was holding onto several brochures...I remember trying to peak into her pocket book and one of the brochures read something about "boys and masturbation" "puberty in young boys" something to that affect.

After that exam a few days have gone by. When at home and I would speak to my mother, she always had a habit of looking me up and down and she would always make eye contact with my "bulge" area in my pants...well this time was a bit different. When I got home from school and wanted to relax and put on my pajamas and just chill out. This time I couldn't find my pajamas, when I asked my mother what happen to my pajamas she told me to wear my undies instead that only boys wear pajamas and you are becoming a man. Besides my clothes all I had were my t-shirts and my white brief tighty whities (that is what was popular back in the 70's & 80'). I just wore my pants and my mother screamed at me and told me that when I'm in the house and sleeping, I have to wear my undies she got so nasty that she threaten to take my toys away and my precious cat would be taken to the ASPCA and put up for adoption. I had no choice but to wear my undies around the house.

She continued looking at me up & down and then one day when I returned home from school and I changed into my undies and took a shower...when I came out of the shower she asked me if I put on deodorant. I didn't. She came to me in the bath room told me to lift up my arms...at this point I as well into my 13th year of life and my pubic hair was growing...she said look in the mirror, you see you are growing hair...she rubbed my armpits and smelled her fingers and she made me smell her fingers and it smelled like soap but I know I needed to smell fresher...she said with hair, you get bacteria and it can smell so I need to put on deodorant. She took some out of the cabinet and made me apply deodorant onto my armpits.

As the weekend rolled by my mother would changed the sheets. When she changed my sheets she was checking them out before removing them. I told her I stopped wetting my bed and her reply is that she isn't looking for urine but if I'm having "wet dreams" I asked her what is that??? She told me that boys my age are going to start developing and turning into men and that we are going to start producing sperm that makes babies...I was like WTF???. I did discover jerking off, but I would do it in the bathroom, cum and clean up in the shower so there would be no trace of cum. She asked me if a masturbated and I lied and told her no.

The 2nd time she took me to the doctors visit and the same type of exam was given to me. However, the doctor asked her questions and asked her about the brochures and if she told me about the changes that are going to happen to me.

The whole time speaking to her...he as examining my penis and of course I would ejaculate..but this time my orgasm was a bit more intense and my cum would now fly out of my penis and I would ejaculate pretty fast. Once again he spoke to my mother private.

That weekend, my mother came to me it was a saturday morning and she sat on my bed next to me. She removed my sheets exposing me in my undies with a morning hard on. She told me that she had to inspect me because she was concerned that like my father I had an issue with premature ejaculation.

She told me too keep my arms to my side, she then placed her hand on my bulge felt around...then I removed my undies and just like the doctor..she held the base of my penis rubbed my sensitive part of my dick and I ejaculated.

This open up a whole new world for me and this continued on for years.


Edited by ModTeam (05/01/14 08:29 PM)
Edit Reason: Trigger warning added.