My name is donovan I'm a 34 yr old male. I have a wonderful wife who has endured countless abuse from me because of my csa and the other problems that have come along with it. SExual, to anger to manipulation, non intentional. It's been five years and I'm just now begging to face my demon and try to acknowledge and battle the negative that it emminates. I guess now that I'm able to see more of what I'm doing I feel closer to my wife. Well telling her this has made her more angry w me knowing that she has been there the whole time. I belive in a way now that I'm letting her vent a little more she's starting to really let out alot. It's really hard for me to allow her the space to vent when I'm just now facing this. I feel like I'm battling it alone. I know she needs this. I've done a lot to hurt her as far as not supporting her when I should and trying to control everything. So I don't want to shut her down because I'm trying to gain her trust I just feel weak and so sad. I'm a very motivated person and I don't give up on things. So I'm going to with her I just want to know has anyone gone through this in the beginning. It's so hard. There's not a lot I feel I do right when it comes to being a good husband because my denial and lying to avoid battling this has caused so much mistrust and that piled on top of the fact that I get angry and at times I don't allow her to get mad because I need to not feel pain overpowers giving her any room to be mad or sad. I'm just starting my road to recovery just this month and wow I've read some post and this is a painful road I'm about to go on. frown