This is a difficult idea for me to approach. I've read many books now on how to support a survivor of sexual abuse. I have been in therapy for 7 months in order to heal me and to help support the man I love.
That said...I periodically read the family forums on this sight, and others, to affirm that I am not alone in my feelings. I'm not! But almost always, when a wife/partner expresses these feelings, the response is from a survivor explaining how and why they behave the way they do, etc.
As a partner I'm going to say, we get it! But we need to vent. We need to cry and rage and be confused and heartbroken that our husbands are hurting and or marriages and our children are suffering. In short, we need support because we are suffering too.
Personally, it just makes me feel guilty when I vent and rage and purge all these awful feelings only to be told what my husband is feeling and how it's not his fault. I know it's not his fault!! I spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about that and what he is experiencing. Again, I'm sorry. But there just needs to be more help, support and resources for partners, and partners only, out there!