I get it. MB can be like just another drug to self-medicate, to numb the pain. And everything you need is always within reach. When it becomes compulsive, it feels like another way the perp can reach through time and space and still control you.
For me, cold turkey was the only way. Yeah I slip now and then, but its out of horniness, not out a need to self-medicate or to re-connect with my abuser.
Well, I won't back down
No I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down.Tom Petty