Love your name standing strong!
Sorry to hear the shame keeps you frozen, I understand that prolonged prisoner in chains emotion. Without knowing why, we allow a soul crushing sense of inadequacy to somehow rule us. It doesn't have to.
If it's ok to ask what was the post that "opened your eyes"?
Shame is such bullshit, I am not sure where that sense of danger you feel is coming from as you are working through it. All I can say is that for me it took mostly understanding that I am entitled to feel what I feel without the judgement. Not from any sense of what others will feel about me, or expectations of bullshit societal rules that have no business meddling into my sexuality and what truly makes my heart sing. I didn't "want" to be gay, it's not easy. But in the end it's harder suppressing some that when finally allowed to be unbridled, unflinching and un-apologetic, is so effing fabulous! How can that be shameful?
Lose fear and you lose shame.
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama
WoR Barrie 2011