Getting ready to head off to a meeting in the suburbs and before I forget I wanted to mention something I never focused on--celebrating our milestones in healing.
This past week my T put me on a maintenance schedule, every two months. He is satisfied with my progress and believes I have put the abuse in its place. He told me I have worked hard, overcame disturbing situations and actions of others in the recent present that could have taken my life. He said I found the right mix of support-support groups and friends. I told him, he was instrumental and kept me on track also.
He said if something comes up, we should meet. I agree with him and will see how it goes.
Last night we were going to dinner, just thought the two of us. When we got to the restaurant there were several friends waiting--greeting me with congratulations. It was not my birthday and I could not figure out what was going on. My friend had arranged to celebrate my new found phase in life and to reinforce I had worked hard to be where I am today. She caught me off guard. One person there said we celebrate when someone successfully battles cancer and other illnesses. But we forget those who suffered a life time from CSA and other traumas and are often forgotten and mistreated. He went on to say, these psychologically damaging events have the same effects as cancer, heart disease--they rob one of life and for some are fatal. Then a toast to me. I was touched and realized I had worked hard, and will continue to work hard. I have made progress. To say it out loud was quite liberating. I am glad someone around me knew the importance of celebrating because I never thought of it. I realized those that celebrate with us, are those who truly care and have their moral compasses set in the right direction.
It made me realize we all battle daily the effects of CSA. But do we ever truly celebrate the milestones that we achieve along the way as we heal. I think celebrating with others allow us to reinforce we are working hard and battling demons others do not know. Celebrating will also allow us to realize where we are today and where we were in the past. It also let us know we have people who care and understand the hidden damage of CSA.
I thought about those that suffer physical illnesses, people can relate to them and offer assistance and kindness. But something hidden and not visible illnesses like CSA does not always attract those responses. Instead we find negative comments and misunderstandings of what we struggle to overcome and the affects on us. For physical illnesses people blame the drugs for the actions of those suffering, for us our mind is our medicine and how it reacts was to save us and now it somehow tells us how to cope. Sometimes, the medicines given and our medication--are not the right prescription or dosage. We learn to adjust our medication--the mind--as we heal.
Along the way people have said to me, we should never judge others:
Everyone we meet is
Fighting a battle you
Know nothing about.
So we need to celebrate our milestones, our growth and those who have been here to support us. Only this way can we see how far we have traveled.
I am somewhat in a very upbeat mood and feel blessed to be where I am and to have wonderful people and supporters in my life. I think, as my T said, if I had not found kind and compassionate people and supporters I may not have be here today. So celebrate your achievements on this difficult journey to heal--you deserve to celebrate.