Sorry I haven't been too active on this forum lately. Life back with family has been taking a toll, and I haven't been able to muster up the energy to really contribute. I do think this is the forum where I truly belong, though.
I'm basically addressing mother-son survivors here.
Did your mother ever tell you things about her abuse? In my case, my grandmother (mother's mother) abused her. One particular incident I remember her telling me was when she was thrown out onto the balcony naked, when she was I don't know, anywhere between 10 to 14, because she did something wrong. Other incidents I remember are her getting beat, verbally abused, deprived of basic things like the warmth of a blanket during winter, etc. I think once I get started, I can list more and more.
The basic question I wanted to pose here is: how the hell do you react to stories of your abuser's abuse? What do you do with it?
Some things that come to me at the top of my head are: Why was I the one being told this? Why not dad? Why not her friends (I can kind of answer that one, she has none, and believes friends are untrustworthy and that nobody is to be trusted outside of family)?