I'm in my 60's and have spent and continue to spend a lot of time managing symptoms. I have also unwittingly sabotaged myself a few times over the years wanting to not take medications. So, for me, it's one of those 'it's the journey not the destination' numbers. I only began to remember sexual abuse, physical abuse and torture from my mother 9 months ago. I didn't know that was even there in my late 30's to mid 40's when I was on a lot of meds for depression, panic and anxiety. I do not like to take meds. However, it's taken me decades to understand that my feelings are real, and that I need a lot of help managing my symptoms while I grow out of the damage done to me.
It is really hard for me to live in a true present, because there is still so much fear and terror locked up in my body. However, I do continue to grow. It is obvious to me, and I am pleased with my continued progress. However, I do continue to need meds for anxiety and panic, and have had to learn that I have to live my life a little differently than most.
That doesn't mean that my life cannot be fulfilling and satisfying. I still have a lot of growing pains, however I also see myself embracing a more authentic me all the time. So, progress, not perfection. Focusing on where I'm not instead of where I am has always been a great distraction for me, and has wasted a lot of time.
Being judgmental about needing meds has never helped me. I do not want to need medications. It doesn't mean I don't need them. I believe I will ultimately not need medications. I believe that day will be when I have uncovered all the untruths I continue to carry around which keep me unbalanced.
It's a tough area to deal with. I wish you luck.
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards