Rereading all of this I'm struck by how negative our reactions have been ...
and speaking for myself ... I'm sorry about that.
My concern seems to be only for your friend ... but it's also for you.
Discouraging you is the last thing I want to do.
The very fact that you have come here ... for whatever reason ... is most commendable.
Your compassion for him is evident and I don't mean to belittle your efforts on his behalf.
You have hope for him ... and for yourself.
Hope is a dangerous thing.
Anticipating a positive result in any endeavor is risky business.
I don't know what the odds are ... but it's a gamble none the less.
It's not for me to presume anything ... which is what I've done.
One's intentions are subjective ... open to both praise and criticism.
What you do or do not do is up to you.
We have overlooked the fact that abuse may not even be at the core of his problems.
That remains a question as yet unanswered ... but really ... does it matter?
If his well-being is foremost in your mind ... then do what you can.
Experience is a brutal teacher.