Hi Esposa and Brokenwife,
All I can say is I respect you for being willing to deal with this. To say you've been through hell is pretty much the understatement of the year. I don't have anything to add to the posts above, no words of wisdom, but I'm sending as much love as I can your way (both of you.)
It's ok to be mad as hell. You've been hurt. There's no denying that, and regardless of the reasons, that hurt exists and needs to be acknowledged. If it helps to vent here at MS, that's perfectly ok. I for one am glad to listen and offer whatever support I can. Take care, both of you.
Never worry about "three steps forward and two steps back." Thirty steps forward and twenty back are still ten steps in the right direction.