Holy Fuck. I just watched the "Mysterious Skin". I was gonna leave it in the previous thread, but it made such an impact that I decided to express myself in a new thread.
Not such a good feeling right now. From the seduction, to being not the only kid with someone older- and I've never admitted that til right now- to the betrayal and deception of LOVE to the horrible scene when he is picked up by the last stranger and taken to the apartment. Its just a bad series of flashbacks. (And I can handle it- but fuck its ugly).
It's okay that I saw it. It's okay that I admit once again that I was sexually assaulted throughout most of my life. Its okay that the flashbacks came when the gag reflex started after he was drugged. It jolted that memory back to me on my BIG DAY. Half conscious, half in that altered-state. I needed to remember. Its okay and I can handle it…tears and anger and remorse and even guilt. Its okay.
Its not okay that any of it happened.
The movie ended with the wish that they could disappear from the world and become angels and fly into the night….. I wish for that so many times. I so want my spirit to be free and to fly among the stars as the angels do. Just holy fuck.
I want every boy and every man who has been sexually assaulted and raped to know that I am sorry it happened to you. Sorry for the grief and the strife it has caused and the pain and the altered perception of life it has given. I am just so very fuckin' sorry. I just have this need to share that right now. And yeah, my vocab is far above the f-bomb, but it is just a definite easy explanation of how I feel right now. If it offends, well….. fill in the blank. Lol. fuck. I don't know what to do right now or where to turn.
Edited by ThisMan (12/25/13 09:41 PM)
For now we see through a glass, darkly.