Since embarking on this challenge, of recovering myself, I have faced instances of objection, or flat out opposition to my need for a little time and space to do my personal recovery work, which i do in our basement.
I blamed myself the first time. I informed my wife and son that I needed an hour and half, twice a week, undisturbed and left alone. I don't think I made it clear how important this was to me, and how much I needed their agreement and support. I was interrupted on a couple of occasions, got frustrated about it, so I brought it up to discuss. This precipitated an argument. It was claimed that I made no such request, and in fairness my approach was accusatory.
This was resolved, or so of thought, until again, a few week later, I was being interrupted. This time, I was left alone, but it became time to play with dog, while turning on the stereo directly over my head. Again an augment ensued, and I thought resolution.
Not so however. Most recently, while I was in the midst of an embarrassing exercise, my wife comes down to change the laundry.
I tried to discuss this again with her, and she flat out said she cannot guarantee me the time I say I need, because..."she lives here too", " the laundry needed done", " your using this as an excuse".
I am at a loss, this has resulted in my not wanting to do my recovery work, for fear of interruption. I am in an avoidance spell right now, but my concern in my wife.
What is going on? I've tried to ask her what is going on, but I get no where.
Are there any spouses with some insight?
What is she afraid of?
This certainly does not illicit warm fuzzy feelings, in fact the opposite is true.
I have a deft lack of trust now that I cannot yet overcome.
Perhaps if I can address what is bothering her, we can both get what we need.
I just have no way of knowing what that might be.
So I ask for, a little help please?
I am not my name, or my history, or the contents of my mind, I am the awareness behind of all this.
Formerly Adam A Gedman (AKA - A damAGed man)
But you can call me Kevin