Never read the poem before, so I looked it up and read the whole thing. Really interesting and descriptive of modern life -- I was surprised to see it was written back in 1958.

It is hard to get a grasp on exactly what the author thinks of waiting. Much of what he longs for are positive but also contradictory things. Ultimately, waiting won't make good things come about. But then again, sometimes they aren't things we can do anything about anyway so waiting/hoping is all we have. It kind of reminds me of the mountain goats' song "Cubs in Five"

they're gonna find intelligent life up there on the moon
and the canterbury tales will shoot up to the top of the best seller list
and stay there for 27 weeks

and the chicago cubs will beat every team in the league
and the tampa bay bucs will make it the way to january
and i will love you again




So I guess the trick is to know when it is ok to sit back and take a break and when is it time to re-engage. Not an easy question, but I'm really glad yo hear you are making progress.
_________________________
Like a spent gladiator
crawling in the colosseum dust
who can count on his remaining limbs
all the people he can trust.
Like the one who stands behind him
cheering him on
Estatic when he stands defiant,
wild with abandon when he's gone

just stay alive.
do whatever you need to.
you are worth it.