I agree that it is your friendship and stability that is important FOR HIM, not your ability to solve his problems. Just being around when it is NATURAL to do so, and having grounded and centered energy to bring to the table is an enormous help in his turbulent times at the moment. Actually, you may be meddling in trying to help. He's not the one asking you for help. His wife is the one asking for help. Sounds like she's the one who needs to be seeing a trained therapist to learn how to deal with HER issues of feeling helpless. I really don't think this any of your business. That doesn't mean you don't care.
I really do believe in the power of the nonphysical. It doesn't matter to me what words people use--the power of love, prayer, ancestors, God, expanded selves, divine self, etc.--but I do believe the energy to be real. You can send your care and concern over the airwaves where it is real and effective and meaningful. Just my opinion.