You don't know this because you're new here, but I have been away from MS since June, and you are basically the first person I have responded to here in a meaningful way for months.
God brought me back because I had something in me that you needed to hear. It's caused me to be emotional too, as I have been forced to take my own advice and tell my defensive self (I call him Izzy, but he is your TwoFace) that I love him too, and that it will be OK and *is* OK.
And so I've been crying some. Maybe he's giving me permission to cry.
Feel free to PM me if you would like.
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.