Originally Posted By: gettingstronger
I guess my point is, if you're facing some sort of compulsive behavior, don't just engage in it. Try to break it down and find what it is that you're REALLY looking for. There's a reason for it, and more than likely it's a good reason that's just being fulfilled in an unhealthy way. I was able to break this compulsion without a T, and if I can, so can others.


i think you have a good point here. i used to have a huge phobia of wearing clothes that belonged to other people - hand-me-downs, 2nd-hand, borrowed - whatever. i have traced it back to the fact that when my mom married the step-dad, we moved into his house - full of all the things that had belonged to his original family - who were dead. i slept in his dead son's bed, played with his toys, played his trumpet, etc. whenever i wore the clothes that were not mine - it made me feel like i was disappearing and did not exist any longer.

later - i took the opposite approach - i would borrow (sometime without the owners' knowledge) clothes that belonged to boys that i admired or wanted to be like. i never kept them - but it made me feel like i was taking on some of their attributes - like i was becoming them for just a little while.

thanks for your post, gs - it helped me put it into clear thoughts and words.

LEE
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago