thanks for the input guys and yea Robert it is about csa and what that meant and means in my life.I really feel like the things I HAVE shared hurt her. one thing when we met she was a virgin and I told her I was too and in a sense I was but not totally honest she knows that now she never knew before we got married about ANYTHING and only found out what she knows now really just this year I guess that is why T gave the assignment. I don't know I think that telling her is just mean I HATE that part of me and I feel like I was two different people right from the start. still appreciate any input guys this is REALLY scary for me I think maybe a half truth might be easier.
Either I will find a way, or I will make one.