I don't know why, but for some reason for me, the hardest times of the year are when it gets to late spring and summer. When the sun is out, particularly in the late afternoon blazing away, (there is a certain time of day and an angle of sunlight on the wall I actively avoid for how it makes me feel).
Now, when nights are drawing in or when I'm in my flat with the windows closed and rain drumming down (as is happening now), I feel better, feel safe.
Even when in 2010 I had three feet of snow, so much I couldn't get out the door for a fortnight despite being in the middle of town, and my heating went (it got so cold all the stuff in my fridge froze solid), I didn't feel badly affected.
I have no idea why. my abuse was pretty much any and all seasons school was in session, indeed if anything summer should be the best time, since that was one time I never! experienced sa at all. Likewise, the shock that caused me to go into recovery happened on Noveumber the eleventh 2007, (yes, on rememberence day, there's irony). Also, all the neurological research on vitamin D production, serotonine and sunlight says winter should be the worst! time of year.
Maybe it's my scotish ancestry, --- or my hobbit ancestry come to that
. Maybe it's just that having been in university for the last 12 years and in school before that, I'm used to thinking that the year starts in September, so this grey autumn weather feels ike a new start to me.
Can anyone relate, since this is weerd indeed!