thanks for the words guys. My mind feels so cloudy these days. I feel like I am remembering less than I used to but at the same time its not gone, just too big and too nebulous to take hold off. Always there and never there. LOL, there I go again.
_________________________
Like a spent gladiator
crawling in the colosseum dust
who can count on his remaining limbs
all the people he can trust.
Like the one who stands behind him
cheering him on
Estatic when he stands defiant,
wild with abandon when he's gone

just stay alive.
do whatever you need to.
you are worth it.