Hi Peter. I hope you already know this but you have nothing to forgive that boy for. He did nothing wrong and is free from blame in any of it. You shouldn't have to forgive someone who has not committed a wrong. It should not have been your burden as a boy and it should not be your burden now as a man. None of it.

As for the forgiveness you offer your abusive mother and/or the man who who perverted a love he should have just offered you without sexualizing it, the degree of forgiveness or lack thereof you offer them is completely up to you. There is no right or wrong answer to the question of whether or not you should forgive them and, if so, to what degree. As long as you're forgiving them for your own benefit and not for theirs. That's what's most important.

Originally Posted By: petercorbett
I personally do not feel that i will ever become a "Survivor of Female Abuse." I doubt if it is even possible for most of us.
Anyone else out there have these thoughts & feelings too?


Yeah, I do. My mother was not my abuser but I do relate to this. The trauma I experienced at the hands of females is something I can never and will never fully recover from. Did I "survive"? Yeah, I guess so but that kind of calls into question the relative definition of what it means to survive something. Did I survive in the sense that I'm sitting here, living and breathing? Sure. (Oh boy, how did I pull that one off?) I've managed not to kill myself. (Yet). Good for me. In so many other ways though, it feels as if I did not survive. The man that I was supposed to be did not survive. He was dead, buried and rotting a long time ago. Take care, my friend. Peace,

Ken