A very serious question seeking blunt-arse answers.
So when sig others, wives, brothers, sisters and friends look at us, post-disclosure, I wonder what they see? What do they imagine? What's the picture in their head?
Now; please understand that I do not make a habit at all of disclosing to nearly anyone except for those like pastors et al whereas I can hear their views on allowing me as past of the flock, but many (as in zillions) of my local peeps heard lots about me as my ex made certain to tell all, tell the rumor-mill and all channels like them.
So what do they see when they look at us/me/we. A kid on his knees, all fours, in bed?
Just how disgusting a vision are we?
My fault? How's this my fault? [Dean Vernon Wormer, 1978]