hey gretta
I cant speak for your husband, but if he is anything like me and many I have talked to, he loves you more than you can imagine. I cant even describe the fear I had in beginning a relationship with my wife.I don't to this day really know why she chose to be with me but she saved my life. I was soooo terrified of so many things and while I tried to hide my frustration even then it was a battle worse than anything I had up to then but I wanted to be with her and I wanted it to work I do love her. even though my head goes nuts sometimes I know that much.
hope that helps
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville