This thread has resonated with me as well... having been abused from my early teens but onwards until I was 20. I too feel guilt for my age, and it is indeed easier to talk about the earlier stuff that happened versus the stuff that occurred later on. All of it was ABUSE and I was a VICTIM through and through, however that is a tidbit I need to constantly remind myself. Call it machoism, call it victim-blaming, I just feel like "most people" would refuse to accept the later experiences as abuse. "Perhaps they might just see it as the actions of an irresponsible youth?"
However, when I tell others about the extent of my abuse and the full scale of what happened, they do not blame me and they end up re-assuring me to not blame myself. I feel regret that it all happened, and I also feel regret for my naitivity. I think that this feeling of self-regret and guilt has interfered with my sexuality- making me feel so "unattractive" around other gay men or like damaged goods that no one would be interested in.
Like many of you, I never had a proper introduction to adult sexuality or dating, and these feelings of regret, guilt, and sexual worthlessness from my later abuse experiences creep in, preventing me from feeling comfortable and taking the next step in my recovery.
Finding meaning and Brotherhood