Hi Greg. Just got caught up on this thread. I'm glad to see that it wound up being what seems like an incredibly productive thread for you and, if you don't mind my saying so, it looks something like what could be called progress. You've even disclosed some new memories here which before you were afraid to share. I hope I'm not overstating the matter when I say that I think that's always a pretty big step.

I have to admit, when you started the thread the other day and I read your first post to it I thought, "Uh-oh, this doesn't sound like it's going to go over very well." I debated whether or not to insert myself then but decided not to, only because I couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't make me sound like a broken record. I hoped that the thread would take a more positive turn and I am happy to see that it has.

You are right when you say that male survivors of female abuse are generally not understood, not treated with compassion, and are largely marginalized. (I'm not saying they are here at MS but in society at large.) It is a lonely and frustrating place to be. When I've told people in other forums outside of MS that I'm a CSA survivor, I pretty much never tell them who the abuser was. I don't bring up gender and let the person or persons I'm talking to make whatever assumptions they want. If I told them I was abused by older girls I always have the fear that many people would simply roll their eyes and think, "God, what a fucking pussy!" Sadly, I am more or less certain that said fear is not completely unfounded. A lot of people would react with that type of outright dismissal and that's just the way it is.

The good news is that there are other people who do understand and who know that the pain and the trauma guys like us have gone through is real and is valid, and I think it's important to focus on that. The world is full of ignoramuses and morons. I think it's important at some point to be able to accept that and not let those ignoramuses make us feel any worse about a bad situation than we already do. There may be few who understand, but we don't need everyone to understand. As long as someone does, then we know we are not alone, and we're not. Take care. Peace,

Ken