Thanks to everyone. I remember hearing about the Oprah show a while back; I think I may have seen a few minutes of the first half. I will look that up. Jeff, I see what you are saying. I wish there was some way we wives could prove unequivocally that we feel exactly the opposite. I already thought my husband hung the moon, but when he told me what had happened to him I was even more impressed with him. I cannot imagine what it took for him to become the kind of man he is with that secret weighing on him. Far from thinking he is damaged or weak, I know he is the strongest and most amazing person I know. I only wish I had that kind of strength! I imagine your wife feels the same way about you. I don't even want to know any details; I'd just as soon not have those images in my head or force him to relive them in the telling. I just want to be sure that the shared knowledge doesn't make other discussions uncomfortable to the point that we cannot talk to each other. I will do as all of you suggest and just go on with life as usual, discuss anything I need to discuss just as I always have. If it comes up, we can deal with it; if not, that's okay too.