Hm just plain talk is not enough, therapy is not enough, your wishes-what if etc… are not enough… CSA experience is part of us and it can’t be erased…that means lifelong effects would be there always.

The sooner you realize this the better and with this topic you are very close to this point.

So what would be next?
The next thing is to become aware that despite this life has so many options and other interesting things to offer – in a way you are special and normal at the same time, but that does not mean that you should accept to be sloppy seconds, just be Brian as you are already.