I think I'm addicted to the chatroom.

I'm on there when I tell myself I shouldn't go on. I'm on there when I've only got 5 minutes to get ready for a soccer game. I'm on until the late hours of night, as late as 4 or 5 in the morning - even 7 once or twice.

I can find so many parallels to my other (hopefully past) addiction, gambling:

- the rare big wins vs. the rare deep conversation
- the 'social life'
- the escape from depression/anxiety
- the 'fun', the joking around
- the destruction of other activities and real-life relationships
- the isolation
- losing track of time
- some deluded sense of purpose

It's the first on this list that I think has me coming back most of the time. Maybe I'll have another deep conversation where I can learn some things and set my life in order; maybe I can connect on a deeper level with someone again. It hasn't happened for a long time.

Obviously, there are some good times. But rare.

I don't know. I'm really confused tonight.

Edited by concerned_husky (07/19/13 08:32 PM)